How To Get Unstuck In Life
You know how you hear some words thrown around on therapist’s websites and you don’t know what they mean, but they sound fancy?
I broke some of them down for you in terms of what they would look like in session with me.
Cognitive Challenging
I’m going to call you out when you’re being too hard on yourself, minimizing your concerns, or thinking a bit too rigidly / negatively
Dichotomous Thinking (AKA black-and-white thinking)
This means you are getting stuck on picking between two options and neither one is ideal, so you flip-flop back and forth. The reality is that there almost always is more than one option, and I can help you find it. On the off-chance there really are only two options, we can assess those options together.
Emotion-Focused Strategies
Yes, I will actually ask you how you feel about certain things, and just know from the get-go that mad, sad, and glad aren’t going to cut it. So be ready to give me some other descriptors as best you can. If this is an area where you struggle, we can work on this together.
Motivational Interviewing
We are going to look at the pros and cons of changing a certain behavior or not. There are always going to be both and doing a quick run though might help you make your decision on how to proceed.
Values Assessment and Aligned Living
Being clear on one’s values will be at the core of our therapy work because your values will guide your decisions. They will guide where you work, who you’re in a relationship with, how much time you spend on each, etc. Getting clear on your values will help you make informed decisions so you can experience living in alignment (with those values). This is where the soul-level feelings of freedom come in. Ahh, yes!
Humor is Session
Yes, it is OK to laugh in therapy. It’s OK to poke fun at ourselves, make light of things, and use dark humor. Of course, this is all balance with serious work. But I want you to feel comfortable enough to be real with me because I’ll be real with you.
Both-and (as opposed to either-or)
This is one strategy to validate and feel all of your emotions at one time, even when they seem contradictory. Something can be both painful and you can feel grateful you went through it. You can be both angry at someone and love them intensely. Emotions are messy and there is enough space for both-and.
Authenticity
Basically, what I mean by this is that since I am going to be a get-what-you-see, see-what-you-get type gal, I would like for you to bring your full self to sessions as well. I’m assuming because you picked me as your therapist, you are already willing and able to do that, or you want to crush that goal together in therapy.
Safe Space
A safe space with me means that anything goes - any emotion and any topic. As a therapist, I am kind of hard to shock and I likely will be able to see where you are coming from regardless of what you share with me.
Unconditional Positive Regard
This is saying that I’m not going to try to make you do, or feel, or say anything. Whatever you feel or do is A-OK with me and I will accept you fully.
Self Care
I’ll ask about this because it is pivotal to your well-being. Basically, it means any activity that you intentionally do for yourself on a regular basis. It can be napping, running, painting – It doesn’t matter to me what the activity is, just that you are doing it. It’s the only way you can truly continue giving to your job, your relationship, your family, and other obligations you may have. Without it, we crumble.
In summary…
I’m going to help you clarify your values, weigh the pros and cons of options so you can make aligned decisions, and challenge and replace some unhelpful thoughts or behaviors. It will be hard work, but the reward will be worth it.
The ultimate goal is to get you to start feeling
POWERFUL
SECURE
FREE